Stuff My Dad Refuses To Read

Articles, plays and short films. Y’know, angsty stuff.

 
 
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Longform Article

Take My Advice, I’m Not Using It.

Part I: The ‘Kissy Bits.’

“…Age 6, my Scottish father sat me down in front of Mel Gibson’s Braveheart and said something I’ll never forget. “This, my boy, is why we fuckin’ hate The English.”

It was as characteristically pithy, as it was passionate and provided helpful context for the next 2 hours of camera lense-speckling battle-cry and bloodshed…” [Click below to read on]

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Longform Article

Take My Advice, I’m Not Using It.

Part II: ‘Little Death.’

"…Now if these were the Good Ol’ Days back when I cherished every female encounter, we’d have watched it together. I’d have spent every minute waiting for the right moment to kiss Her. I’d have asked questions and genuinely cared about the answers. And maybe, just maybe, our souls would have both slowly sprung into life, and privately conclude that there may just be something here…” [Click below to read on]

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Full-Length Play

Help Would Help

Act I, Scene i

A central London brothel. SL there’s a door, marked with a brightly-colored piece of card, stating the occupant’s ‘vitals.’ Peeling wallpaper hangs off the damp walls. A single, flickering lightbulb on its last legs hangs down, swaying slightly.

We hear the irregular, clip-clopping of drunk footsteps in formal shoes and heavy breathing. Our unseen protagonist pauses and begins humming and singing All My Friends by L.C.D Soundsystem.

ADAM comes into view.